I gotta finish this sometime after 6 am!

I am so very determined. Haha. ÜÜ

My MP is going to be okay. Then I can sleep...sweet sleep. Ü

I wish I had gone to the mall, right after...

my lunch with Uncle Japhet. Haha.

For if I had, I would sit the exam later with a happy happy heart..haha. I dont know why but I am so inlove with malls, even though I rarely buy..haha. Ü I just love strolling, my thoughts to myself, thinking what the others are thinking, sitting on the huge sofas and just minding my breathing, which would then be labored, for, I believe, I am thinking about it.

Here I am trying to will the hours away before I have to go back to the dorm and review...again [!] for I feel that what I accomplished in two readings is not enough to make me pass the exam later. Haha.

But before that, I have to meet a friend...for the first time. She will be the one who's, I think, gonna be in charge with me during my first days in the Opus Dei...I will be joining, have i told that here? Maybe not..

And even before that, I am determined to wait for my Wordpress blog to open. Arrgh! I've been trying for at least an hour or something. Think I should just give up? Haha.

I am so craving for the smell of home. Or even of the bus....Haha.

Friday Fill-ins

1. Please don't tell me the test's been moved to an earlier sched!.for that would mean I missed it. aw..

2. Can you function well in the morning, especially in this weather?

3. The color green makes me want to be on that bus headed home! [I dont know why..but it does!]

4. I have a craving for cold coffee and a real conversation with my bestfriend..aww...

5. If my life had a pause button, I'd pause it now.

6. Eyes are the most honest 'features' [or parts] of a person.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight (yesterday night) I'm looking forward to reviewing for the exam, really Ü, tomorrow (today) my plans include _having lunch with Uncle, and reviewing still, then sit the exam..huhu and Sunday, I want to rise early and be home early!

Friday was no good either.

I did something completely idiotic and stupid [is that redundant?] last Friday. It involved wanting to ditch classes, coming to classes late and homework undone, and pissing the hell out of my instructor...plus many many more. I dont even know why I am not melting out of shame here.

I could not even look back at last Friday and not be ashamed of myself...for once, I am seriously wishing that I am someone else.

Just When...

I received a spiritual talk from a Korean...just now..just when I am badly in need of the sort. All the time he was talking, I was wondering if that might just be the affirmation that I am searching. Well, what else can it be?

I was seated on a stone bench, the one that was hardly occupied at the front of the Main Lib, trying to get a few minutes worth of review for some quiz that's not academic...huh. Then, he came, maybe that's the reason why, and asked if I have some spare time. I eyed him warily, trying hard not to show that I was wishing that time that I don't have any.

Well, torn between being the well-bred person my mo boasts of and the person wary of strangers...I did nothing. I said, okay, in a very small voice...

Then, it began..

Truth be told, there was nothing new in what he said to me. I know all of those things. I know that Jesus died on the cross and saved the whole of human race from its sins. The facts came and I know that I accept them...I believe in them...

Yet, why cant I hold on? Why does my faith in those things quiver? Why...why...

Everything is centered on my doubts...I am not giving a chance to my belief...

I was grateful for the talk, yes...but the frustration builds up...

I'm still lost...apparently.

Yet...sigh..I am still in two minds...

[Visit my other blog for some sort of a whole story.]

This just in..

My relatively new and barely-used usb is defective! I dont want to replace it...I cant just reformat it....I badly need it...

Six Pigs in Heaven

[yey. A review. Finally.]

This actually made me want to read again. I mean, for the last four or so books, I sometimes lose the heart to finish even before I was halfway. And, truthfully, I thought that Six Pigs in Heaven would just be like those other books.

I never knew any of Barbara Kingsolver's books. Heck, I only heard about her when a friend inquired about the book I was reading and I held it up for her. She said, "oh. kingsolver, she's real good." Now, I am thinking about digging her past works.

The story was captivating. I mean, feed me with something that would make me indignant and yeah, I would certainly read all through the end. I was impatient with the results and eagerly awaited the finish.

It was a story of a mother's love [to her adopted but otherwise cherished daughter] complicated with the rules and laws of an Indian tribe. A lawyer looked into the adoption and found out that the mother was ill-advised about it and the adoption was illegal. It was a search for the mother and daughter while they went to an escape/journey so that they will not be separated from each other.

All in all: Fascinating.