Just When...

I received a spiritual talk from a Korean...just now..just when I am badly in need of the sort. All the time he was talking, I was wondering if that might just be the affirmation that I am searching. Well, what else can it be?

I was seated on a stone bench, the one that was hardly occupied at the front of the Main Lib, trying to get a few minutes worth of review for some quiz that's not academic...huh. Then, he came, maybe that's the reason why, and asked if I have some spare time. I eyed him warily, trying hard not to show that I was wishing that time that I don't have any.

Well, torn between being the well-bred person my mo boasts of and the person wary of strangers...I did nothing. I said, okay, in a very small voice...

Then, it began..

Truth be told, there was nothing new in what he said to me. I know all of those things. I know that Jesus died on the cross and saved the whole of human race from its sins. The facts came and I know that I accept them...I believe in them...

Yet, why cant I hold on? Why does my faith in those things quiver? Why...why...

Everything is centered on my doubts...I am not giving a chance to my belief...

I was grateful for the talk, yes...but the frustration builds up...

I'm still lost...apparently.

Yet...sigh..I am still in two minds...

[Visit my other blog for some sort of a whole story.]