...and why i dont want to come back for the second day.
So it started this morning. I had to get off the bed by 6:00 AM. yyyaaaawwwnnn. I am feeling apprehensive about all of it...a feeling heightened when I found out that they packed a lunch for me. Darn! What am I? A first grader? They said that it's not certain if there's a cafeteria or something nearby. They were all saying they have old friends at the place where I will be studying...then why did they not text them a day before and asked if there's a place to buy food. I am embarassed for I am certain that there will be some place to eat lunch...it is a training center! Though I am really touched with the concern, I was impatient...it's bad enough that I'll start when all the others are already half-way...but with a packed lunch? How can I ever fit in?
Then, my studying involves nothing but sitting down and looking wistfully at the things that the other students are fiddling with, wishing that I could be with them...blended with them...not to be called when the staff, the instructors and the director of the place are going to have a snack so I can join them. I hate to be singled out that way. I actually did not understand a thing of what was going on in the room earlier. I just sat there, listened hard and wished that I can relate.
After that, a lot of things went wrong, too. I had such a bad day I did not care that I got home early and had time to relax and sleep. I brooded on the things that happened and everything about today just make me wish that I am not going back tomorrow...
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I believe I am turning to be more and more ungrateful as days pass.