Oh, my 'soon' from the last post means now-after-this-one. Ü
Okay, so pre-college days. Ü I am about 1 month and 28 days away from being a college freshie>>so as what was written on the confirmation letter they sent me. I am having jitters! as in I have stomach cramps every time I think about it and I feel nervous whenever I check the important dates as my enrolment, the FOP, the first day of classes. Oh, and I get nervous about the dorm I've applied to, too.
Last June 4, 2007, me and thousand others took the UPCAT (some did on the 5th). I was extremely nervous, anxious, in doubt, not to mention ready to die an hour before the start of the exam. My hands are sweaty, I felt that I would collapse half-way through the test...in short, I was everything but comfortable. This was something I did not expect me to feel for 2 months ago, I was hopeful that I would make it...not doing well in the review classes must have drained that from me*. peace. Ü I felt, on the morning of the 4th,that all of my classmates in the review had chances, and I had none.
And so, the exam time. I was scheduled for the afternoon batch. As I lined with three of my classmates to get to the covered court and have my permit checked, I was inwardly saying a prayer...help me, please...guide me, I'm begging you...just this once. JUST THIS ONCE have been in my prayers in times like the UPCAT and for all the answers I got, ONCE must have meant MILLIONTH TIME.
After the test, I felt marginally worse. It seemed that I haven't got any correct answer...and for months, I told myself to deal with the fact that I did not pass...I told myself to be contented with the other universities that I've applied to and passed the entrance exam...for months I braced myself for the letter telling me that I did not quite make it.
But, on January 2008, they posted the results on the Internet. I actually had a hard time battling with myself if I would check it out but still, I had to check...for my own peace of mind, I guess. It was difficult to access the website for it was getting a lot of visitors that day...about 70 000 took the exam. Ü Luckily, someone was kind enough to take a picture of the original list posted on the campus and uploaded them...all 43 pics of it...my heart seemed to have left my chest and I was blanked (?) for a few seconds when I saw my name on pic # 17, I guess? I passed!...on my first choice too! God is soooooooooooooooooo merciful
And soo...i have already confirmed that I would enroll and already had my medical examinations last March 17. Tomorrow, technically today, is the pre-enlisment of the subjects I'll take for the first sem.**
And about the jitters? I have them for I have heard a lot of stories regarding how hard it is to stay in the University of the Philippines. I don't want to be forced to change schools for the grades I'm getting are not, well...knock on wood! I dont want to disappoint everyone who felt good when I passed, and I dont want to put to waste that fact...that I PASSED, and all the bad and good stuff I felt about it made it more interesting (that the right word?), made the results worth waiting for. Haha.
I must work hard!!!!haha
*Please understand. It's me not them. I felt that I just dont want to work hard that summer.
**Dan! usap tayo ha?! (let's talk about it, okay?)