updates...

Whew..finally. after several days of being silent, I am now returning to my blogs. Lately, I am being anti-downloading, anti-writing, anti-reading, anti-TV...and there's only one thing that occupied me these past few days. And that is...tadah! yeah, staring at nothing...contemplating on my enrolment on monday, and dreaming of the days to come. I can feel myself going fatter and fatter by the day...as in I eat, lose myself into nothingness, then sleep...I've been a very boring slob, I know. Anyway, I am going to link some of my blogs here, okay? Yeah, as if someone can ever stop me...or as if anyone's interested..haha..Ü

Oh, and next friday, I am going to a weekend trip with my parents...surely by then, I will post many pictures...and write about how it goes...hehe..so excited.Ü

of anger and calming oneself

I got really angry ealier. The anger that I want to kick something just to ease it. This just made me even more frustrated for I can't show my feelings here. Not here. Not in the house. Everyone would just get in the way of me calming myself.

Well, of the reason...I was forced to do something i really dont want to do. Something that they think was a real treat. Then, it went okay enough for me not to look back and feel embarrassed or ashamed of myself. Then, when we got home, one of my companions (the one who forced me) started making remarks about how I acted...that I should this and should that....damn! I was doing you a favor! Cant you keep you mouth shut?

All the time that that person was talking and bragging about the thing, i was here, in front of the PC, turning up the volume of the headset until it was so loud I can feel my eardrums throbbing in pain. Still, I can hear everything...

Then, my parents arrived...and the person started telling them about what happened and I got really impatient for all the questions I was asked. i tried to answer as okay as I could, though. So that they cant tell that I am angry already.

Of calming down, I started to breathe like I just run a marathon...yeah, it works for me. I dont know..yeah, I am weird. hehe. Then I vented my feelings on researching something I really really need...it's how to skip my appointment with the dentist later..no, it's true. mom said it would be the first thing this saturday. And it is the wee hours of saturday. I guess I really can't avoid it.

After about 2 minutes of this, I found out that I already calmed down. i am not angry anymore..just resentful and somewhat hopeful that I would not be in the same situation ever again.

Wow, I think I can work in an anger management org or somthing. hehe.Ü

- - - - - >>>>

oh, and of the pictures of my cleaning, I'll post them as soon as I can. I am being anti-downloading at the mo'..haha..

Did it..finally pre-enlisted Ü

hehe...the title says it all. haha.Ü

I finally accessed the site yesterday and being the slob that I was, did not write about it immdiately. *sigh*

I guess I was just overwhelmed by the feelings of having a temporary schedule...temporary until they approved of it...and I was pretty much hoping that they will, so...hehe..

It's just sad that my friend and I got as much chance of being classmates in any subjects as me accomplishing all the cleaning I was set for today...I so feel like a house elf. haha...maybe I'll post some pictures later of how I am getting on. hehe..ÜÜ

a soon-to-be-college-freshie's problems

What a nice way to start the day...haha...another rant? Anyway, I woke up at 5:15 this past morning...grabbed a piece of bread, then 'readied' my things. I then took a really cold bath (and it's summer!) then got dressed.

I am to go to my soon-to-be college and arrange a couple of things. No, to arrange two things:

1. My medical certificate. I got through this one pretty much okay, except for occasional bites my tongue got for the retorts that I sort of want to throw at some people...Well, I guess, as my father says it, "everything is for your own development"...yeah, like being made something of a fool and you can't do a thing about it is a development thing...haha. Anyway, i can still take it. *stabs self* haha (weird, stabs oneself then laughs? *sigh*) And I was finally stamped as "fit to enroll". Ü
2. The housing results. Word got to my friend that the results are posted on the campus. *sigh* Why did I ever believe it? So, I checked...and voila! It says there that it will be sometime later...no, much later that I expected it would be. My parents are actually close to being "panicky" at the mo'...they keep on saying that i will never have a decent house to stay if I dont look for something else. Anyway, I am holding on to it. naks! haha. What a confidence...trust me, I don't feel it. haha. I just feel being too optimistic today. hehe.Ü

Then, after that, me (my brother and I) grabbed a bite at M*d*n*l*d*..haha..it's as if those * can hide it. Then, he took me to the bus terminal and I went home.

In short, I was pretty much on the road today...except for the time that I am trying to access the enlistment of subjects in the net.

rants, rants, rants...*sigh* and I am wondering why I feel down lately? hehe..Ü

Anyway, it's late. haha

Time Saving tips...or how-to-not-be-late-in-an-appoinment tips

Try not to get near any of your blogs...or if you can't help it, the just dont try to fiddle much with the templates...or the "next blog" button and read blogs of different people. Try and convince yourself that it's time to prepare and several persons are waiting for you...then, try to heave blog-crazy self away from the PC and prepare...

...no, don't read that one chapter of your current book. Try not to reason out that you're a fast reader and a couple of minutes wont make any difference. Remember that you take about an hour in the shower...and again, reason out on why it's just that long...

--------------->>>>>>>>>

A couple of reminders for me every time I have an appointment. *sigh*

here's one excited photographer: ME

haha..so, time has changed..hehe..Ever since mom let me borrow the family camera, I have been trying to capture moments, failed and took pictures of still objects instead, which is a very hard thing to do (note the sarcasm please...hehe).

But, earlier, I got this...

It's a bird, locally known as maya. It was perched on an electric line...Dunno if this is just a small thing for others..haha, but for me, it's quite big..hehe..being able to capture a bird's pic this way is something I have never done before..hehe.Ü

Church Hymns/ Religious Songs::2

All for Love
>>>by Hillsong

all for love a Father gave
for only love could make a way
all for love the heavens cried
for love was crucified

oh how many times have i broken Your heart
still You forgive
if only i ask
and how many times have You heard me pray
draw near to me

everything i need is You
my begining my forever
everything i need is You

let me sing all for love
and i will join the angels song
ever holy is the Lord
King of glory
King of all

oh how many times have i broken Your heart
and still You forgive
if only i ask
and how many times have You heard me pray
draw near to me

everything i need is You
my begining my forever
everything i need is You(repeat twice)

all for love the Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
for they know not what they do
let the cross draw man to You
to You
to You
to You

everything i need is You
my begining my forever
everything i need is You(repeat twice)

This has got to be my favorite song of all time...it makes me feel blessed and all I want to do after listnening to this is to praise God. Here is the link for a video of this song I found in youtube..watch if you have time.Ü The last part is awesome...you can see so many hands raised for worship...

^^here's another of the models I found at the local store here. The cover says it's a cricket.^^

this one's a bit more complicated, though..if you look closely, you can see one of it's legs is bent in the wrong way..that's got to be my fault. haha.

I Am From

I've read about this through one of my blogs. It's actually a writing activity wherein you just have to fill it up with memories. Ü So, here it is.

I Am From

I am from our dogs' barks, the strange man's horses' neighs and stray cats' meows. From Century tuna in the afternoons, Centrum vitamins after dinner and skyflakes at midnights.

I am from the "ship-looking", new house on the block. From tiled floors, non-painted walls and windows that refuse to open. From creaky stairs, whose steps were made of several 2x2 slabs nailed together.

I am from the yellowing ampalaya vines, from the bloody-red bugambilya that climbed up the nearest tree , the vast lands of nothing but dry grass that were more than once set on fire leaving nothing but black soot on white shirts and pungent smell on pants.

I am from religious meetings, religious camps and jocular people. From Jim, Grace and Jaizon.

I am from singing during power outages and seeing cousins once a year during Christmas.

I am from grandmom's mischief as a child and rice coming out of your body through your wound if you refuse to let the them clean it.

I am from a big picture of Jesus hung on my brother's room and a big, glow-in-the-dark rosary in the hallway. From visita iglesia on good fridays, attending service meetings and family prayers in the living room at night.

I am from a public ward and a borrowed pantali sa pusod and from people who worked in farms and mental institutions. From grilled tilapia for lunch and steamy champorados on hot afternoons.

I am from dad singing at the top of his voice, from mom's frequent, tinkling laughs and from my big brother's giving ways.

I am from photo albums stashed away (only leaving their place when someone important comes to visit) and photo albums so battered with age that it now falls apart when perused, from blown-up pictures of my parents' wedding, my brother when he's three and me when I was three. From the old TV cabinet now full of files, the two old bookcases staggering from the weight, the patched bed covers and the stained curtains billowing in the early morning breeze.

I am from the hands of those who are apart most of the times but whose hearts are stitched together by love.

Here is the link for the format...

The gift update

This is Cooger. My teddy/son that my bestfriend gave to me over a year ago. Brent, Cooger's counter teddy/son basically looks the same except for a wrong twist in the right foot.

I still haven't come up with the right gift for my bestfriend...and I am about 7 hours away from seeing her again...maybe the last time before we go to college in June. Maybe, I should just write her a letter, asmy already suggested last resort, make it good and maybe she'll really appreciate it. My bestfriend is not the mushy type, you see. Yes, she cries every now and then but she'd the type who might just call letter writing corny.

I posted cooger here for I have been looking at him for like hours, thinking and thinking and thinking and coming up with nothing. *sigh*

I guess, it will be the letter. Yep, the letter. Ü hha..it's funny that I made the decision here and not earlier for even as a I write, i am having doubts on the gift...

and here's another of Cooger with my favorite pillow, taba (fat)Ü

phone bill disappointments (my bill, mom's disappoinments)

NOTE: this post was written without any attempt at making it more understandable. haha. I just wrote whatever popped into my mind. hehe.so sorry for the headache readng it will cause you. Ü

I just seen my bill for the phone plan. It seems that my usage (call and text charges) is not even half of what it must be. I cant understand this for I am a heavy texter and I call someone every now and then.

Now, mom is the one who pays for my phone plan. I just felt that she is disappointed for I haven't exactly used more of what she pays. Oh, I have the consumable plan...you apply for it, accepted, they give you a new phone (depending on the 'size' of your plan), you have a sure free load every month, and you pay for the plan amount and excess consumption.

haha. I know it's vague, so an example: I have the P400 plan (lowest plan amount possible). I got a new phone for the application. I will be automatically charged P400 every month, but i also have free call and text load worth P400. In short, if all my calls and texts amounts to P400, I just have to pay P400...if I have excess consumption, I have to pay for them, of course. Ü

haha. Sorry if I made an explanation. It's just that, I dont know how phone plans are carried out in the other countries...ÜI just really have to explain. Ü

two things in one

Thing # 1

Here's my life's new joy...this summer, at least. Ü I found this (the plane, not the book) at a local store and it only costs P30, about .6 of a dollar.

The design is pretty basic as the pieces already had wedges (?) and they were numbered in pairs so you already have a clue on how to put them together.

Some of the pieces were loose so I glued some of them ...too bad, the propeller had to be glued, too...so it wouldn't budge. It turned out so nice that my plans of giving it away to a younger cousin vanished as I looked at it completed for the first time. I know, selfish me, poor kid.

I have always been a fan of model figures, like ships, planes (like this) and others that are assembled, displayed but never played with. I have always wondered when I can afford them for I heard that they are pretty expensive. But with this? oh I am in cloud nine!

Hoping to get more designs, soon!

Thing # 2

It's the effect of the camera flash...I just think that it is awesome. Ü One can see the "illuminated" parts of the pics as well as the dark areas. Ü

Oh, another great thing about this was mom actually let to borrow the camera for the my blogging. She says that I can use it as long as i dont just leave it lying around...

Summer is turning pretty interesting. Ü

I need a gift for my bestfriend...

...as she recently celebrated her birthday. I've never given her a real gift except for sometimes when we exchange purchases that are basically the same, like cooger* and brent. They are our sons (teddy bears) that we bought from the same store, on the same day, at the same time. We just exchanged and said that it was a gift. Brent and cooger turned 1 last February 6. Ü

Last year, I bought a really neat card for her...and wrote a nice birthday message. We were attending the review classes, then. I dont know what became of me at that time and I totally forgot about it! I even put it between the pages of the notebook that I was going to use for the review...the notebook disappeared from my mind, too. *sigh

I went out with mom earlier...remember the iced coffee and the clubhouse? Yep, they were pushed through this afternoon. The clubhouse was so-so, I need to try the others before making a fair comment...but it wasnt what I expected it to be. And the Iced cafe mocha was pretty much okay, so we had a really nice time. Ü We took a stroll among some stores to find a gift for my bestfriend, but I just could not find any.

If i dont come up with any idea before thursday, I might just write her a letter and give the one-year old card and explain what it is...might be a laugh. Ü

so, any suggestions?

*my teddy. Ü

Update on the pre-enlistment

The letter said it would be today...but according to the website, it would be on next monday. Starting at 6 pm. Ü The final course assignment was posted on the site too. Again, I have to check whether I was there or not...talk about paranoia.

the site: freshman.up.edu.ph

Pre-college days

Oh, my 'soon' from the last post means now-after-this-one. Ü

Okay, so pre-college days. Ü I am about 1 month and 28 days away from being a college freshie>>so as what was written on the confirmation letter they sent me. I am having jitters! as in I have stomach cramps every time I think about it and I feel nervous whenever I check the important dates as my enrolment, the FOP, the first day of classes. Oh, and I get nervous about the dorm I've applied to, too.

Last June 4, 2007, me and thousand others took the UPCAT (some did on the 5th). I was extremely nervous, anxious, in doubt, not to mention ready to die an hour before the start of the exam. My hands are sweaty, I felt that I would collapse half-way through the test...in short, I was everything but comfortable. This was something I did not expect me to feel for 2 months ago, I was hopeful that I would make it...not doing well in the review classes must have drained that from me*. peace. Ü I felt, on the morning of the 4th,that all of my classmates in the review had chances, and I had none.

And so, the exam time. I was scheduled for the afternoon batch. As I lined with three of my classmates to get to the covered court and have my permit checked, I was inwardly saying a prayer...help me, please...guide me, I'm begging you...just this once. JUST THIS ONCE have been in my prayers in times like the UPCAT and for all the answers I got, ONCE must have meant MILLIONTH TIME.

After the test, I felt marginally worse. It seemed that I haven't got any correct answer...and for months, I told myself to deal with the fact that I did not pass...I told myself to be contented with the other universities that I've applied to and passed the entrance exam...for months I braced myself for the letter telling me that I did not quite make it.

But, on January 2008, they posted the results on the Internet. I actually had a hard time battling with myself if I would check it out but still, I had to check...for my own peace of mind, I guess. It was difficult to access the website for it was getting a lot of visitors that day...about 70 000 took the exam. Ü Luckily, someone was kind enough to take a picture of the original list posted on the campus and uploaded them...all 43 pics of it...my heart seemed to have left my chest and I was blanked (?) for a few seconds when I saw my name on pic # 17, I guess? I passed!...on my first choice too! God is soooooooooooooooooo merciful

--------------------------->>>>>

And soo...i have already confirmed that I would enroll and already had my medical examinations last March 17. Tomorrow, technically today, is the pre-enlisment of the subjects I'll take for the first sem.**

And about the jitters? I have them for I have heard a lot of stories regarding how hard it is to stay in the University of the Philippines. I don't want to be forced to change schools for the grades I'm getting are not, well...knock on wood! I dont want to disappoint everyone who felt good when I passed, and I dont want to put to waste that fact...that I PASSED, and all the bad and good stuff I felt about it made it more interesting (that the right word?), made the results worth waiting for. Haha.

I must work hard!!!!haha

*Please understand. It's me not them. I felt that I just dont want to work hard that summer.
**Dan! usap tayo ha?! (let's talk about it, okay?)

Iced coffee and the-rumored-best-clubhouse-sandwich postponed

With all these summer heat and all the craving I had yesterday, I asked mom if we can have some cold coffee and snacks today. She said she would go but I had to pay for it since I was the one who invited her. I agreed.

but..

due to unavoidable circumsatances, we posrponed it until tomorrow afternoon. I was so frustrated earlier that I was almost crappy, but luckily, I managed to control myself. Yey! Being extra snappish might just mean a 'cancellation' of everything. Ü

Oh, and we might go 'shopping' for new clothes since I need more of them for my soon-to-be college days. Ü Might write about them soon. Ü

Mundo ng mga Bulag na Bata

Ang amoy ng ulan

Sa mabagyong umaga.

*

Kalamigang hatid ng mga ulap

Sa tanghaling tapat.

*

At sa lalim ng gabi

Ang boses ng mga tala.

small poetry.

I long to

sit on that

shed and wait

for the bus to

take

me

home.**

**Gosh, I really dont know where this wave of homesickness is coming from...I mean, I am at home! It's been around since december, I think.

kudos to you chammy!

I've been to a shrine situated on a mountain, today, with my family. We went so that we can show my future sis-in-law the sights here. I have been up there for a couple of times as, yearly, tons of people climb it on foot for a pilgrimage. It was just sad that I couldn't have explored the place, it being near to our place, for it was hard to go there, the climb was steep...trust me, the day after every pilgrimage would be really really, uh, achy?...as in every limb in one's body would ache terribly....and we didn't have a suitable car to use before.

But now, after the van was sent to the shop, overhauled and all...dad believed that it could climb the mountain where the shrine stands. The rest of us were a bit apprehensive about it. What if it overheats while it's on a charp curve or something? Of course we have to walk the rest of the way up...and we have a guest!

But chammy, our van, did not let us down. Sure she was slow on steep roads but still we reached the shrine as smooth as we can ever hope for...and once we were there, overlooking half of the province, we hoped that we did not doubt the van at all. Ü

So kudos to you chammy..Ü

sketch::1

I went to Mom's office earlier. I got a little bored and so I made use of my time and drew this on a piece of scratch paper and scanned it.



It's actually the merlion in Singapore...

here's one frustrated photographer: ME

For all of my years, I was very much fascinated with seeing the world through the viewfinder. I delight at the sight of rare moments that are captured and developed, knowing that they will never be repeated..ever.

Unfortunately, as much as I want to make photography my hobby, I can't afford it! The camera, the developing...everything! I borrow mom's camera every now and then but that just wont do if I will make it as a hobby. I look longingly at the pics people post on their blogs...how I wish I can do that too...to have a whole post contained in just one pic.

: (

Church Hymns/ Religious Songs

This particular church hymn, though I have been hearing it for years, just struck me. I saw how beautiful it really is and it became one of my favorites. It is in another language (Tagalog) but I'll translate the most essential line for you.Ü

"Panginoon Ikaw,

Ang Kasibulan ng buhay.

Puso'y dalisay

Kailanpaman..."

"God, You're the spring of life.

You're heart remains pure forevermore."

Maybe because it is spring*, the people rejoicing for the growth of plants, welcoming the sun and going out for trips for the snow has quite melted... Maybe it is because of these wonderful things, these promises of nature that she will grow back in time after the cold has past...that I 'internalized' what it (the hymn) all meant.

God is the spring of life. Through Him, we are renewed..after the chaos, after being lost in the dark, we are all certain that He is there...just waiting for us to come back to Him.

*It's spring in the other countries.Ü I live in the tropics with only the sunny and rainy seasons...but nonetheless, I am enjoying the sun and the flowers it brings.Ü

Summer tips...specially during outings involving pools and the sea

...or reminders to remain cool during the whole trip.Ü This post is written based on my past experiences during outings and summer getaways, and thus reflects what a typical 16-year old thinks of her needs. so.

1. Bring lots and lots of water. It doesn't matter that there is plenty of water around. People get tired from having fun and have the need to replenish their body supply. It may be useful to bring a big jug of it and have cups stored in the car or somewhere.


2. Have adequate food. I've been to several swimming trips wherein we dont have sufficient food. We all ended up unsatisfied of it all. Yes, we had fun. Yes, we were with the people we like best...but after lunch? Some of us lost their energy and did not want to wade back into the water.


3. Bring chips... or anything that the kids can munch while you are preparing the food. This avoid fits when they are hungry and you still have to grill the meat or fish or something. Trust me, it isn't good when the youngsters are screaming their lungs off and the grill's not ready, the food uncooked, soot all over you...


4. Bring your own towel. I know this one's pretty basic but not everyone remembers this one. It doesn't feel right to use someone else's towel...trust me.Ü


5. Don't forget you personal things: your toothbrush, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, comb...and of course, your dry clothes. If it is possible, bring an extra set for someone who might have been too busy to prepare or for small accidents.


6. Avoid wearing swimming garments that are fit for bigger or smaller people. Need I say more?


7. Dont drink alcohol... unless you can reall take it all in. It's never a good thing to have a drunken spectacle during the summer outing...specially if it's from you.Ü


8. LIKEWISE: Don't goad a friend to take that another glass of beer... you'll be responsible for everything he might just do.


9. AND IF YOU CAN'T REALLY HELP IT: have some ready coffee or something warm for the drunk ones. This helps for the hangover...it would not be great the next morning.Ü


10. Enjoy every minute of it. No matter how much trouble you went through for the lack of water, the lack of food, the untimeliness of it all, your forgotten or too-big garments, your drunkenness...still, summer is summer. One should just be in the sun varing for nothing at all!

newbieÜ

Hi, I just started this blog today, at about 1:40 am...and I am so excited to be a part of another online community.

I am looking forward to meeting people here and reading about your lives and learning from your stories. Ü I would try to update this blog everyday whenever my brother is out or busy or something because for some reason, I find it hard to show what I feel to my family and therefore cant tolerate the feeling that they have access to my blog.